Castration would be too good

...And capital punishment was certainly on the agenda for bike thieves. That was what I thought to myself when I heard that we'd been robbed.

Mrs Doubleu had taken Jeff out for his constitutional, and in the 30 minutes she was gone, they struck the shed, taking 2 stumpjumpers and the x-cal. The bastards even had the audacity to come back for the road bike but thankfully Claire and Jeff dawg were back by then, their prescence in the kitchen being enough to put them off.

The police treated it as an exercise in getting the paperwork ready for the insurance claim. The fact that our "joint" seemed to have been "cased" didn't concern them the way it unnerved us. They didn't hold out much hope of us seeing any of the bikes again, despite them being distinctive as they were. The forensics team had a look but it wasn't exactly Dexter or CSI. Once 48hrs had gone by, we were effectively told to forget about ever seeing them again.

All that remains to be seen is whether the insurance company will play ball, or whether they will, along with bike thieves, join the punishment queue.